Tuesday, August 4, 2009

If political parties were stores, what would they be?

When I drive or take transit through Toronto, I wonder which store each political party would resemble.

The Conservative Party is Canadian Tire. Assistant Manager, Jason Kenney, has got some ethnic person standing inside the front entrance ready to ask you if you want a Canadian Tire/Conservative credit card. You want to get away from this person as fast as possible. Heck, I've entered the store through the exit just so I can avoid the annoying credit card person. When I need help, there is no one to assist me. The employees are too busy following their manager's instructions to keep stocking those shelves. When I've got my goods, I head to the cash registers and pick the one with the shortest line. There are only two open. The shortest line is also the slowest because the cashier can't operate the optical scanner and an old lady who is ahead of me in line is spending ten minutes counting $19.99 in change when she clearly has a $20 bill in her purse. Canadian Tire does have a loyal following of old people who like to hold up the cash register line.

The Liberals are Zellers that is run by people who would rather shop at the Bay. There's something for almost everyone. However, there's always comparisons between Zellers and its magnificent American competitor: Wal-Mart.

The NDP is a cross between Home Hardware and The Source (formerly Radio Shack). Its party élite probably shop at Zellers. Some shop at the Bay.

The Green Party is Mountain Equipment Co-op. MEC is active in the major cities. They'll never beat Canadian Tire for common camping equipment. However, its higher priced enviro-friendly status symbol camping equipment make Greens feel good about themselves as they trounce around the paths of the world spreading their message of keeping our carbon footprints as small as possible.

I can't figure out the Bloc Québécois. Aidez-moé. What store would the Bloc be?


Michel Bolduc said...

Gilles Duceppe is usually a good dresser. He's also the grandson of a Briton, which made him say once: "I'm a bloke who turned Bloc."

The Bloc could be Simons, an affordable fashion store. Founded by an English family in Québec city, the chain doesn't do business outside the province.

Anonymous said...

I think The Source would also fall into the Conservative pile. It was "Radio Shack", then "The Source by Circuit City", now it's "The Source" and now it's owned by Bell Canada Enterprises.