Sunday, July 20, 2008

Let's have a parade!

If the Japanese can have a penis parade and festival, then we should have one in Canada.

Here's some info from Wikipedia:

The Kanamara Matsuri (Festival of the Steel Phallus) is an annual Shinto fertility festival held in Kawasaki, Japan in spring. The exact dates vary: the main festivities fall on the first Sunday in April. The penis forms the central theme of the event that is reflected everywhere—in illustrations, candy, carved vegetables, decorations, and a mikoshi parade.

The Kanamara Matsuri is centered around a local penis-venerating shrine once popular among prostitutes who wished to pray for protection against sexually transmitted diseases. It is said that there are divine protections also in business prosperity and the clan's prosperity, easy delivery, marriage, and married couple harmony. There is also a legend of a demon that hid inside a young girl and castrated two young men on their wedding nights before a blacksmith fashioned an iron phallus to break the demon's teeth, leading to the enshrinement of the item.

Today, the festival is used to raise money for HIV research.

I do not suggest that we have a Toronto Penis Festival led by Mayor David Miller. We should have our own Kanamara Matsuri in a place like Wasaga "Prefecture" Beach to complement the Collingwood Elvis Festival. We could have a Wasaga Wang Walk where people can watch a multicultural array of phalluses (or phallii [I don't know my Latinese]) be carried by men of different sizes (I mean heights). Sorry ladies. You can have your own Vagina March the day before. The Wasaga Penis Festival can be a family affair where the mommies, daddies, and their children can rub a magic six metre long "Phal" for virility [some censored photos--not PG rated, maybe 14+].

I think my Cuss-O-Meter to the right is going to increase from 1.1% once this blog is posted.

Added: My Cuss-O-Meter didn't increase.

I can't believe I am writing this on a wet Sunday afternoon?


Skinny Dipper said...

Some of the links in the Wikipedia quote are not PG rated. I don't care. I am not de-linking them.

runiteking1 said...